Questioning Traditions

If you follow me on social media, this review won’t surprise you.

I recently read I Don’t: the Case Against Marriage by Clementine Ford and LOVED it!

I will start this review by saying that this book is absolutely not a universal read. Not everyone is going to read this. If even the thought of a book about why you shouldn’t get or be married makes you feel defensive, this is probably not your thing. In saying that, maybe you should read it? Broaden your horizons perhaps?

I am (happily) married, and absolutely nothing against Mr Matilda, but I was very hesitant to get married. I didn’t change my name when I got married and I really wish I had this book back then so that I could recite excerpts of this book to people when they questioned my decision!

I was about eight pages into this book when I copied down this little gem, which I think helps to set the context for this book:

I Don’t is a profoundly hopeful love letter to women. It’s a rallying cry to reclaim our right to be the authors not just of our own perception but of our own stories. It’s a message passed back to our foremothers to let them know that we have heard them, and it’s a message sent forward to our daughters to urge them to keep going.

This is a book about seeing. It’s a book about knowing.

We have been kept from the truth of who we are for too long – and the truth is that this great, glorious, beautiful tradition of marriage has been a trap for women from the beginning.

How does that make you feel? I lapped this book up!

I Don't by Clementine Ford offers a refreshing and provocative perspective on the institution of marriage and its impact on women's identity and autonomy. Ford delves into the historical and cultural aspects of marriage, questioning its relevance and equity in contemporary society.

This book is a bold critique of the ways in which traditional marriage can perpetuate patriarchal norms. She unpacks the societal pressures and expectations placed on women regarding marriage, dissecting how these can lead to a loss of identity and self-worth. Her arguments are well-researched and supported by a mix of historical data, cultural analysis, and personal anecdotes, making the book both informative, deeply personal, and readable.

The writing style is quintessentially Clementine Ford – direct, incisive, and laced with sharp wit (and swearing). She does not shy away from challenging commonly held beliefs, and her provocations are aimed at sparking critical thought and discussion. While the book primarily critiques the institution of marriage, it also touches on broader themes of feminism, autonomy, and societal expectations.

One more little excerpt for you..

Significant numbers of women are not only dissatisfied with the reality of marriage, but they’re also embarrassed about what their lives have become. They’re ashamed to admit to being the cliche of the overlooked housewife, the past-it mother who can’t make her husband care about her. To mitigate the sting of this, they participate in toxic humour about hapless husbands and overgrown children, because admitting that they feel small and exploited by men to whose every need they tend is too awful to admit.

Mr Matilda and I had some great chats while I was reading this one, I can tell you!

This book is a must-read for those of us interested in gender studies and questioning social norms, and for those of us who want to read provocative quotes to our husbands as we get ready to go to sleep for the night… because life is too short to read bad books.

P.S Still married, in case you were wondering..